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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The most precious gift....The Child within your heart

The most precious gifts are those with whom we were blessed to share our lives.  Family, friends, co-workers, teachers, mentors....even those whom you simply encounter and are given an opportunity to show and share what is best in you.  Too often it is the worst in us that others experience.  Sometimes...thoughtless acts negatively effect a life for as long as they live.  I know this to be true as it is something I have experienced, mainly because I believed I should always trust...and turn the other cheek..When I did and it was perceived as weakness I often experienced another slap....Once it accountant whose ill feelings caused her to act irrationally and irreparably effected my checkbook, another a new teacher with whom I shared, and for whom I cared hoping to see her succeed.....just to have her insecurity strike out and cost me my livelihood.  Also as ridiculous as it sounds someones inability to forgive a mistake I made keeps affecting me today.  I suppose some misunderstandings are never understood. 

Within a family however, memories fade, faces of loved ones are forgotten as the generations separate by years and decades...and though we love those we lose forever, it is our Children who never fully understand their place in their parents heart. Each one is different, unique and forever the most important part of who you are and who you, as an adult, become.  The control a child can exert, the pain they inflict they do not see .. No one believes in you more than your parents. Daddys' love exists within a noble need to protect, provide and aid, but its a mother who nurtured you in the womb, bore the pain to give you life, who truly sees you the way no one else ever could. No one is more proud when you succeed.  No one hurts more for you when things go wrong.  A mother will sacrifice, plan for you, they can see through you, past your faults into your miracles.  Often what a Mother endures, barters, reliquishes on a childs' behalf remains a secret...  for childhood slips away so fast a Mother never wants time to be marred with the mundane, her sacrifices or her own sorrows. 

It is the letting go by the mother....that is the most noble.  It leaves a hole in her heart that never heals...never goes away.  But all baby birds must fly...each one with their own style...and each Mother dealing with those new found wings in the only way that particular Mother can.  They just hope its been a successful preparation and as childhood transitions into adulthood, the children remember their journey.and appreciate a mothers sacrifices..and the fact that a mother that would have laid down her own life for life to be everything their children hoped it would be.  Mothers' wisdom is there for you, even when she isn't. Her gifts, sacrifices and love never go away, even when the child does not recognize it as such.  The time will come when the skies will be clear and that rainbow will grace the sky and you will understand all of this .....and even if it is too late to tell your Mother you are sorry, or thank her for some newly discovered revelation she imparted in the past,  for she is long gone ...don't forget she was human too...and no matter what the circumstances.....would never love you less.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Change Regretable

Change Regretable                         (PRP)

Heaven knows I loved you.
There are some things we cannot change.

It was in a time I could reach out and touch you –
feel you stand, warm beside me,
watching the sun transform the color of your eyes.
There are some things… we would never want to change.

Excitement was strong, emotions intense, there were moments I felt invincible….
I sensed your love, but could never quite grasp it.
Perhaps, if I could have stretched a little farther, leaned a little lower, lunged a bit faster
Perhaps then, I could have clutched and still be holding on.
What we would not give to see some things change?.

Tomorrow came as it always does and I
Never believing there would be the need for change –
Watched helplessly as a new world evolved around me
My life turned a new season, cold and dark.
I lost you, lost your warmth; I lost the sunlight shimmer of your eyes.
Would that I could have held you,
In painted youthful colors I hoped would grace the pallet of all my todays
Clinging to my dreams, those dreams, forever….missed.
Now I shall always miss them

That is the one thing I know will never change…

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Within the Dark

Forever missed.

Amongst impulse and  desires…. dismissed
One maintains status upon my list
Your hand in mine, with no desist
And Kiss as we have never kissed.   (PRP - 1972)

Monday, June 11, 2012

3 River Petroglyphs site

Three Rivers Petroglyphs site......New Mexico!

Broken  (PRP  2012)

Every step we take.. path we choose or decision that may have begun as impulse or dare,
Everywhere we glance, underneath the smirk, the frown, the seemingly simple smile from an inner dialogue to which no one will ever fall privy
There are particles of play and plans with purpose from pieces of puzzling people who all prepared the world one progressive promise at a time.

We pass it all by, in disregard, trump it with a hapless card we draw…or discard… hoard them with our hopes.... perhaps bury them in a mason jar…in a forgotten yard
Until in love... the collectors come back….
and try to understand what it was that left us scattered and broken, because they want to put us back together again.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Bittersweet Diversity, The Anniversary

Here's to Jim and all our inexorable ghosts, I love you... (copyright 2012 "Seasons of Southern comfort" by Pam Robinson Porterfield.)

Bittersweet Diversity, The Anniversary

Once a year…once again…once more it surfaces temporal. as the tides.
Somewhere within time, another weathered winsome holiday swells
and recedes within a reticent heart.

Not all remember each of them, not everyone can….. not every year.
Nor will all who celebrate successfully…..
brave the obligatory waltz of unwelcomed waves
Relentlessly inundating those unprepared within its ocean of unpredictable emotion.

Some stand steadfast, safely at a distance to seemingly savor the sweetness of a simple shore
and share the swift sea breeze of a smile.

Others tantalize with a tasty toast, to a tethered time that cannot be shaken loose
Such a clinging cruise shall always seem to surface selfishly somewhere…
lingering as christening champagne on a maiden maritime voyage…. at an anniversary…

Then there are those whose memories crave a complete corporal creation
An attempt to reanimate forevermore…
A balancing ballast to ever last …….floating their momentous memories….
bottled and tossed ......

An anachronistic sacred secret to be labeled and landlocked once more,
within a safely shared surge - relived once again in the sweetness of a safe, simple tsunami smile…..

Thus creating another anniversary.

PRP 2012